I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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