sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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