there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
