Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
