New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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