Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
