What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
