walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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