i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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