I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
