Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hippo gnu deer
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My feet surprised me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
