I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
