Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
