i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
