I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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