we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
