if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
