But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
