I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
