im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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