I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize