i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
