If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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