She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
