Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
