honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Two words: blizzard sex
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
