I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
