Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
