Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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