omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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