Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
