break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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