porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize