I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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