Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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