So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
