i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
