You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
