Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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