btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
