My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize