There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
