How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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