The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
