I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
