I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
