You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
