It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
