We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
