are you still at the devil's house?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
why is half of my head shaved?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
