Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
