Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
