I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
did i just pee glitter
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
