never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
