Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
