If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
