I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize