Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
