I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
