sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
