He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
