You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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