So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
