i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
