tell your sister to shave her snatch
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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